Are our babies “designer babies”?
What Transgender Families Can Learn from the “Designer Baby” Experience
The Wired article Designer Babies Are Teenagers Now—and Some of Them Need Therapy Because of It (https://apple.news/AJrm8uO8tTdGshpnj2ZXvLw) highlights the experiences of children born through advanced reproductive technologies, specifically those involving genetic selection. These families, often wealthy and cisgender (not trans), used technologies to reduce the likelihood of genetic conditions or enhance specific traits in their offspring. Now, as these children reach adolescence, some are grappling with identity questions, anxiety, and complex feelings surrounding how they were conceived. Though transgender families who rely on assisted reproductive technology (ART) and donor gametes to build their families may seem demographically different from these “designer baby” families, there are critical lessons to be drawn from their experiences.
1. Open Communication About Origin Stories
One of the key takeaways from the Wired article is the importance of transparency. Many teenagers expressed feelings of confusion or resentment when they weren’t told the full story of their conception early on. Transgender parents often face unique challenges when explaining out children’s origins, especially when donor gametes or surrogacy are involved. The lesson here is clear: honesty and age-appropriate communication about a child’s conception help foster trust and a strong sense of identity. Ensuring that children know their full story from a young age can prevent feelings of betrayal later on.
2. Navigating Identity and Genetic Connection
In families where genetic traits were selected, some teenagers felt immense pressure to meet expectations tied to those traits. While transgender parents typically use ART for reasons other than genetic enhancement, donor conception can still create questions around identity and belonging. For donor-conceived children of trans parents, understanding their genetic background is important. Providing space for these children to explore their genetic heritage—and validating those explorations—can help them form a more integrated sense of self.
3. Mental Health Support
The Wired article highlights that some “designer baby” teenagers needed therapy to process the circumstances of their conception. Transgender families may also benefit from proactively considering mental health support for our children. Stigma around non-traditional family structures and donor conception can affect a child’s self-esteem and sense of normalcy. Having therapists or support groups available who are familiar with both ART and LGBTQ+ family dynamics can make a significant difference.
4. Resisting the Pressure of Perfection
In families who used genetic selection, there was sometimes an implicit expectation for the child to be “perfect” based on the traits chosen. Transgender parents might encounter different but equally challenging pressures—perhaps a desire to prove that their family is just as “normal” or “successful” as cisgender families. It is crucial to resist placing undue expectations on children and instead allow them to develop into their authentic selves. Affirming a child’s individuality, rather than tying their worth to the family’s conception journey, is essential for their well-being.
5. The Broader Context of Choice and Ethics
Finally, the Wired article touches on the broader ethical conversations surrounding ART and genetic selection. For transgender people who rely on reproductive technologies, engaging in these ethical discussions is important. Trans parents are uniquely positioned to advocate for more inclusive, ethical, and accessible ART practices, ensuring that all families—regardless of gender identity or income—can build their families with dignity.
Conclusion
While transgender families are not the primary demographic discussed in the “designer baby” discourse, the core lessons of transparency, identity support, mental health care, and ethical reflection remain deeply relevant. By learning from the challenges faced by these families, transgender parents can better prepare for the nuanced emotional needs of their donor-conceived children. The ultimate goal is the same: to raise children who feel loved, accepted, and confident in the stories that brought them into the world.
